Baby Love

baby me

I love newborn babies

I love their smell and

Soft skin, the

Crown of their head,

Little arms and legs,

And tiny hands that clasp

It is wonderful for short bursts

But a lifetime?

No thank you!

I have known since I was sixteen

That I do not want children.

The birth of my

My half-sister

A few months after my 18^th birthday

Was a momentous day

I became “big big sister”

And regular babysitter

Phoebe-Lulu days were the highlight of my week

Days filled with picnics and painting

Library visits

Ferry rides to the city

Museums

A fantastic excuse to the see

The Wiggles live in concert

(We saw Sam Moran – the new yellow wiggle – in his debut appearance

And laughed when he drove onto the stage in the big red car

With L plates)

And with a succession of new cousins

(10 new babies between 1999 and 2008)

I became babysitter extraordinaire

With nappy-changing, bottle feeding, and

Happy occupying of small children

All added to my already impressive CV

My little little sister’s birth

Along with the birth days of all my new family members

Were happy, joyous days

And also the best contraception ever invented

I realized what a full-time job

Looking after a baby, and growing family, were.

Lovely yes, but

Exhausting

Draining

And trying

People say

“But you’re so maternal! It’s such a waste!”

I’m also an actor

Musician

Office administrator

Educator

Writer

Is it a waste to not pursue avenues

Other than motherhood?

“But we live in the modern age!

You can have it all!”

When we have affordable childcare

Equal wages

Paid parental leave

And a system and society that supports parents

Instead of bleeding them dry

Perhaps then we can have a conversation

About the genuine possibility of universal

Career + parenthood = satisfaction

“What about your parents?

You’re denying them grandchildren!”

I thought we lived in the modern age where independent young people didn’t have to live out their lives for their parents?

“It’s so selfish!”

So is having more and more children to consume the limited resources of the planet.

“You’re young.”

“You’ll change your mind.”

“Your clock will start ticking.”

“You’re in denial.”

“You’ll regret it.”

Inspired by Tamar Anitai, I will now respond to these statements with

“Are you a fortune teller, how much do you charge?!”

I’m not asking people to stop having babies.

Like Elizabeth Gilbert in championing auntyhood

I have faith that the human race

Will continue to do as it has always done

And make babies

Ad infinitum, and

I will be there to

Cheer and coo the newest members of humanity

And whole-heartedly support my

Sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends

In becoming parents

If being a mother/father/parent

Is what you desire

All the power to you!

Go right ahead!

I’ll be available for babysitting

And playing aunt

I will petition for

Paid parental leave

And advocate affordable accessible childcare

I will be curious about birth

And developments in childhood psychology

I will keep an eye on the education sector and

Fight against the destruction of the arts in schools

I will even 'like' your ultrasounds, baby pictures, and hilarious

They did WHAT?! stories on facebook.

Not because I have a desire to one day be a mother

But because I am a person

Interested in the society in which I live

And hopeful of a world where every human being

Mother, father, child

Can flourish

But I will join Tamar Anitai in

Defending our right

To choose not to procreate

Twenty-nine year old me

Remains as clear in my choice

As sixteen year old me

Of not desiring a child of my own

It does not make me barren

Or a spinster

Or an angry adult shunning the joyful world of parenthood

It's just makes me another piece

In the complex puzzle

That is humanity

All I ask is that you

Please respect my choice

To follow a different path

That doesn’t include bearing babies  

Thank you, and

The end.