People have been asking "How London is going?" It’s wonderful. It’s exhilirating. It’s exhausting. It’s one of the toughest things I’ve ever done. The past few weeks have been a slog and I confess I’ve been rather down. Every day has been filled with self-doubt, worry that I’m not good enough, and much self-despising talk inside my head. What am I doing here in the middle of a recession training for a career where there are minimal job prospects and ridiculously tough competition? I’m here for love. Because nothing else makes me happier. And knowing that there is nothing else on earth I’d rather be doing, I meditated. I listened to musicals. I journalled. I read inspiring blogs. I watched inspiring videos. I obsessively followed Seth and Sharon. I talked with friends and loved ones. I channeled some [Title of Show] goodness and I told that little bitch of a voice inside my head “DIE VAMPIRE, DIE!!!!” Being a musical theatre actress may be scary to some people. At times it is even be scary to me. And facing my demons in possibly the scariest thing I will ever do. But facing them with spirit fingers, and shiny dances, and all-singing, all-technicolour glory is exactly how I want to do it. This Halloween, I'm dressing as the thing that frightens me the most. Myself. And I'm going to make like Buffy and kick some vampire-inner-demon butt. The end.
Hi Luisa,
ReplyDeleteVery honest blog and beautifully written. Achieving any goal is truly a mind over matter thing. I felt the same way doing full-time ballet and can identify with your inner pain.
You have a great attitude! You are beautiful and talented and have inherited a killer work ethic. Enjoy the good and breathe through the not so good.
Thank you for such an honest blog. A big hug to you from your # 1 fan, Love Ma