Hurry/Wait

Someone is waiting
Two someones actually
My love
And I
Waiting
For my visa to come through
So I can move to America
And we can be together
It's partly why I'm walking 780km across northern Spain
"Pacing in a straight line"
As Aaron's dad put it
Waiting in London I was going stir crazy
My life
Just a game of waiting
Filling time

We had optimistically booked a ticket for March
The visa didn't arrive
The plane left without me
And I sobbed in frustration
London stayed miserably cold and bleak
I worked hard
I spent time with friends
I tried to embrace London
I hoped to land an acting job
Nothing came
I felt lonely and frustrated
Dispirited, disinterested, and disenchanted

I got the idea to do the Camino again
This time solo
This was for me
It would fill the time
In a positive and productive way

I'm walking
My feet are sore
I'm meeting wonderful people
I'm breathing in the Spanish landscape
It's so beautiful
Every step
An affirmation that
I'm here
And a step closer
To my love

Hurry visa
I'll wait
I'll pace across Spain until you arrive
And give thanks to the universe
That I can be here

Buen camino
Don't stop walking
The journey
Is the destination
Is life
Is love and joy and heartbreak and beauty
And being

The end.

Go To It

If there is something that you want to do
GO TO IT
You are not too old
It is not too late
You ARE more capable than you think
You have everything you need to start TODAY.
Stop making excuses and
Just. Go. To. It.

The Way

Your love sends you a link to a film

Directed by Emilio Estevez

And it's about the Camino

And how a man goes to recover the body of his son

Who dies along the way 

And the father decides to walk it himself

And it stirs a memory

Of all the markers along the way

Of people who have died 

Whilst making their pilgrimage

And it makes you wonder
In all your memories of the Camino

You hadn't thought about those markers

But you remember that journey

That walk across the top of Spain 

That you did yourself, four years ago

Walking 780km in 6 weeks

It seems like a life time ago

A whole other self that took that journey

That made you so much of who you are today

The night before the Cruz de Ferro

The highest point on the Camino

You tossed and turned and agonized 

About what to leave behind

What to ask the Camino to relieve from your shoulders 

Traditionally you bring a stone from home

And leave it at the highest point

And with it you leave all your troubles

And you had this realization

That no matter what thing of significance you left behind

There would always be something

In life, there would always be something troubling you

And you would have to make this pilgrimage literally annually to be absolved of pain

And in the early hours of the morning

You had an epiphany

You didn’t want to leave pain and suffering

You wanted to leave something positive

Something that you could carry with you forever

And you decided to leave gratitude

Dear Universe. For being. My soul. For love. For energy. For strength. For knowledge. Thank you. 

And you posted that message, written on the back of a peppermint tea bag wrapper

Into a cairn built into the highest point 

Posted a message to the universe

To your higher self

To a future self

And from then on, the Camino became more beautiful

The scenery more picturesque 

The grass actually greener

Whether or not you had passed into the lush province of Galicia 

Doesn’t matter

Something was lifted and changed 

And four years later

Sitting in London

You remember that self

That tortured self who wanted to sing and dance and act and be in love and be happy 

And you whisper in her ear

It all comes true.

The end.