Climbing Uphill

View from the Pyranees, 2013

You slog uphill
Drill notes
Please memorize
Count
Project! 
Energize to the end of the line
Trying to get a long and tricky piece together
With limited rehearsal
And you think it could never come together
Was it this hard last year?
You just about give up
And then suddenly
"Suddenly"
The day before the show
There it is!
Harmonies rich and full
Soaring and lovely

And before you even realize it
The performance is over
And the relief
The weight off your shoulders
The view of
The shining happy faces of kids who have felt the spotlight
Known what it is to rehearse
And stand before other people
And sing/dance/act/play
(Often at the same time!)
Is worth
The uphill climb it took
To get there

The end.

Sing Out, Louise!

I’m so proud of my kids tonight

For the past three weeks:

“Project! Articulate! Every word is important!” 

Daily drills. 

Feel your feet. Activate the breathe. Let go. 

I’ve felt a bit like Mama Rose

“Sing out, Louise!”

Hoping I’m not nearly as crazy as she was.

But I get why she does it.

You can see the potential.

Hear the voice that’s dying to come out

And it’s just hidden by inhibition

Or from lack of ever trying.

And you sit in on the rehearsals. 

And you work through the score.

And you stay up late

And you wake up early

And you hope that all the hard work will be worth it

And you get to show night

And suddenly there’s that extra element 

That is simply not available in rehearsal,

The audience.

And your children lift their game,

And you sit watching their show

(It’s theirs now, they own it.) 

And you feel like you’re in one of those TV shows

And you’re watching the show like a montage

Except you know every word

Every bit of blocking

And the director is sitting to your left

And every now and then you look to each other and laugh

Or worry about a delayed cue

Or a missed line

And you hear the audience go wild at the end

Cheering your kids

And you feel an immense sense of pride

In your work. 

And you thank each and every actor

For all the lessons they have taught you. 

The end. 

The Stage

It’s when you get inside the theatre

And you can smell the hazer

And see the depth of the stage

That you remember what all these hours have been for

You walk through the wings

And stand under the glow of the lights

And feel a sense of relief

Feel like you’re home

The delicious adrenalin sheer hard gut busting work of it 

Because sometimes you do wonder why you’re here

Standing in line with hundreds of others

Belting as high as they can

Articulating gesticulating and explicating

But it’s the relief of being there

On the stage

Working with the director and the lighting designer and the costume designer and the stage manager and the musical director and the musicians and the ensemble and 

All the myriads of people who work unseen to make the magic happen

Not really magic

Just sheer hard work and determination

Hour upon hour of rehearsal

Sometimes you wonder where a whole afternoon went

Because when you look at the script, you’ve only covered a page!

But the continual repetition and drilling and finding meaning in the text

Is where you find the magic 

Meters of fabric

A team of dedicated souls 

And a room

Become transformed into countless other worlds

Where people sing and dance and act

Often at the same time! 

And it makes you so happy

Makes your blood pulse through your very being 

And reminds you why it is you chose to be here

The end.