This is Me Breathing

from here

Arriving back in London 

After three weeks in a cabin in the woods

Is an assault on the senses

The advertising

The people 

The rush.

Within ten minutes of getting off the plane

I could feel 

Depression

Anxiety

Rising 

And on a day where I feel bleary because I spent the night flying across the Atlantic

To arrive in a city that, try as I might, doesn't feel like home

To travel in peak hour and feel like the stereotype of a: 

Sardine in a can/rat on a treadmill/tiny insignificant speck

To see all those miserable people! 

To stand in the shower and sob because I was back

To feel like the cabin in the woods was a dream

To miss my love across the ocean 

I had a thought. 

I don’t want to get sucked in to the misery 

I don’t want to be hardened by the city

I don’t want to feel helpless hopeless and horrified

I want to see beyond the billboards and concrete tunnels 

And hear something other than

I can’t/It’s too hard/it’s so tough 

So here is a promise to myself

Everyday

I will write about something inspiring 

Something magical, beautiful, delightful,

Just plain old nice

And hope 

It makes a difference.

The end.